Matt's job log: 4

Matt Atkins works part time in the NHS while he looks for a job related to writing.

Waiting in vain

I think I’ve found out the key to combating my writer's block and in a moment of psychological genius, I discovered it came from figuring out why I couldn’t write anything in the first place. I find it most difficult to begin pieces of work when faced with a blank page of paper. Just the thought of writing the first tentative sentences terrifies me. To get round this, I’ve now started to write on any scrap I can find that already has some of my spidery scrawled efforts upon it. This way I don’t feel that I’m sullying a fresh page with rubbish, and thus can jot down whatever comes out of my head. If only I could work out how to meet deadlines!

This week the problem was confounded by the fact that very little progress has been made. The truth is that the past fortnight has been pretty uneventful in terms of actual job-hunting and career development. For most of the past fourteen days I’ve sat waiting for a response from my ‘guaranteed’ perfect employer concerning the job in Leicester I’d convinced myself I already had. When the date for interview came and went with no word I was forced to admit defeat. Not that it’s a major setback, it obviously wasn’t meant to be. Such is life. I got to buy some nice shoes in case of an interview, so, you know, swings and roundabouts and all that. Because of my daydreaming about one job though, I’ve completed a total of zero job applications and found no extra part-time work. I’ve failed totally to come across any more amazing job opportunities, though this is perhaps due to the new regime in the IT department at work. There’s no Facebook, no outside email, no Blogger, Prospects or Guardian website. There is literally no internet anymore.

My other life

Despite the lack of success in the past couple of weeks, I’m not really that worried. You see, the thing I’ve come to realise is that, yes, I’m looking for a dream career in a very competitive market but at the same time, I’m human. You know, there’s always going to be periods where I’m not up to my best and not quite as motivated as usual. Rather than a work-hunting automaton, I’m a social animal and I need to enjoy the present rather than worry incessantly about the future and place undue stress on myself. That’s my current philosophy at least, and one that I’ve recently been enjoying.

Most of my attention has been directed to other aspects of my day-to-day experience and I’ve put in some work toward improving my creative output. I finally got in touch with a creative writing group which is held at a local library, so in the next few weeks I may find myself surrounded by interesting and bohemian literary types. Knowing the area of town I come from though, it’s more likely I’ll be getting lessons on hotwiring cars accompanied by a cacophony of Dizzee Rascal ring-tones, but hell, it was free to join.

Seeking experience

In addition, I’ve found a publishing company in Birmingham, which in itself is quite a rarity. I’ve put together yet another CV and covering letter which I’m going to post in the hope of securing some work experience. As it’s a fairly small company, it’d be nice to think that they could do with an extra pair of hands to help out. The work experience side of my endeavours is one which I really need to pay more attention to. I originally gave myself this year to earn some cash while completing placements, but seem to have become a little waylaid.

In another development, despite another valentines spent alone with only The Smiths and a bottle of Smirnoff (other brands of vodka are available) for company, I’ve managed to secure a date with a former interviewee for one of my articles, name withheld to protect the innocent. My blundering attempt at an interview must have either impressed or generated sufficient pity and having avoided the pub for about a month, I can actually afford to take her somewhere nice. Cool. Come to think of it, the general umm-ing and err-ing working up to this interesting development and the nervous excitements following may account for my recent lack of career progress. So when you think about it, I’m not really the one to blame.

Read Matt's previous job logs:

Matt's job log 3 - Pub log

Matt's job log 2 - Habit reforming

Matt's job log 1 - Off the settee

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