Kirstie's job log: 21
Kirstie Nicols hopes to become a journalist. As a first step she has started a sales job on a newspaper. Indecision days One of my biggest flaws, and the thing that seems to annoy everyone I know most of all, is my inability to make a decision. Whether it’s a choice of what film to see at the cinema or what top I should wear for a night out, my brain goes into meltdown and I end up looking helplessly at whoever’s nearest.
This means that making a really big choice over what I should do with my life is nigh on impossible; and it’s made worse by the fact that no one can choose for me. At least when I go out for a meal and I see frustrated faces looking at me as they wait for me to order, I can ask someone to pick something they think I’d like. So now that I have to choose between going back to uni for yet another year, and staying in work trying to get there myself, things seem to have got much harder. Last week, I woke up every morning with a different solution. One day I would be determined to accept the course place, the next day I was going to turn it down. I’ve considered trying to defer the place for a year, then scrapped the idea, and then considered it again. Whenever I come to a firm decision, you can bet I’ll have changed my mind by lunchtime. Friends are getting fed up of hearing me moan and ask for advice, and my housemates have starting leaving the room whenever I walk into it. I’ve become a burden to everyone who knows me, as I whine and moan for help. My family, lovely as they are, have been frankly useless in telling me to do whatever makes me happy. My best friend is still being supportive but has said in no uncertain terms that she refuses to be the one to make the choice for me. Old friends from uni think I should go just for the chance to be a student again, and friends at home think I should stay cause they’d miss me (which is very sweet), and also because they’d miss the rent money (not so sweet). The only people I haven’t discussed it with yet are people from work, as I think it might be a bit of a mistake to mention I’m thinking of leaving soon, three weeks after starting. Good workWork is just starting to get good as well, which adds extra complication to the situation. I’m picking up what I need to do quite quickly, and although I have made mistakes, I’m still at the stage where they can be blamed on how new I am. I’m beginning to learn what I can get away with in front of whom, and now go for lunch with people everyday – instead of sitting on my own feeling lost. I still haven’t had my ‘big break’ yet, however (the one where someone important walks in and asks me to cover a big story), and I’m beginning to see that I’m not the only one there who has been fantasising. I know it’s a bit superficial, but right now I’m also enjoying the perks of working for a slightly larger company than I have been. There’s no fighting for a car park space in the morning; they actually have spaces reserved for bikes which is heaven! The coffee machine is an actual coffee machine, instead of a kettle and a lot of hard work; and there’s a real life café where you can buy fresh food instead of sandwiches from the local garage. I’m not sure how long such cheap tricks will enthral me, but at the moment they’re affecting my decision over studying or working. After all, who can turn down coffee where the machine does all the work for you?! That’s pretty much all I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of weeks; should I or shouldn’t I take the place on the course? I seem to constantly be walking around with a glazed look in my eye at the moment, and some have complained that I don’t pay much attention to conversations. I’ve still got a few weeks to think about it, but the way things are going at the moment, I won’t make up my mind until the last possible moment. Alternatively I’ll miss the deadline completely and have my mind made up for me! Read Kirstie's previous blogs
Suggestions to editorial@prospects.ac.uk
| 
